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I did it all on my own
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It's really hard when, every time I feel as though I'm making an improvement of myself, you go and tell me "Don't act like this AGAAAAIN" with that horrible drag in your voice. You look at me and say "Don't be mad AGAAAAIN" and you drag that last word like I have always been this way and I will always be this way and I can't never be the right way.
I have told you a million and two times. I'm trying and you look at me like "Don't tell me that AGAAAAIN" and then I look at you and all I have been working for and working through floods back into my mind and I feel like I'm this huge giant catastrophe just waiting and tittering at the edge of the cliff that is my SANITY... agaaain. Then I have to start all over at becoming better at loving myself and, in turn, loving you without reserves and feeling like you love me without reserves. That's how it is supposed to be right? That's how it used to be right? That's how you want it... that's how I want it. That's what I'm working toward, so just stop looking at me that way and stop talking to me that way and stop making me feel like I'm this huge giant catastrophe... because I swear... one day-- i'm going to be magnificent and wonderful and amazing and you're going to wonder what you did to get such an amazing person-- and I'll look at you and you'll know: i did it all on my own.
