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Just trying to be me
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Resurrection. Of Sorts.
I need to reinvent myself. Recreate the person I used to be. For a short time, I believe I will write entries that you aren't used to, dear reader, if you read them at all...
Maybe I'm clinging to insignificant things in hopes of rediscovering my poetic self... but at what cost is too much? Is the murder of human happiness worth it? What about slowly drowning my relationship? How about the suicide of a perfectly wonderful and vivatious personality?
I can't continue to sacrifice those things. I made a vow to you, to try. I can't fail here. I won't let myself. If I do, I know that I am throwing away the person who cares most about me. I'm sorry I have collapsed under the pressure so many times before. "Too many times..." you whispered. "I know," I said against your strong shoulder. You protect and forgive in ways I can't conprehend, but "I don't want to forgive anymore," you say, and I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. "I'm sorry," I say with as much feeling as possible. What else can I say? What else can I do? All you ask is that I try to be happy. How hard can it be to do something so enjoyable? I do want to try. So I will try. to. just. be. ME.
